2008-01-22
random.
after like a gazillion years i suddenly feel like blogging again, and since no one will ever read this anyway it doesn't really matter what i say so.. here goes (:
just gotta get things out of my mind i guess. i'm sure everyone close to me is tired of hearing me think aloud. i know i would be if they kept talking about the same thing to me.
it's been.. approx 2 weeks plus since me and chris broke up/take a break/god knows. and i guess i'm regretting more and more that i lost my temper, especially in the light of more understanding in the form of talking to ant and reading the sb forums.
i'm most definitely mood swinging. from happy to sad to happy and to sad again. when happy i'm fine, and don't feel anything. when sad i just keep thinking.. and thinking and thinking. god. what is wrong with me?
though i guess it's perfectly normal.
okay rationalise:
1) will this r/s work out? in the long term?
2) will this even lead to a marraige?
from everything it is clear that he's just not ready to commit.
but it just makes me so confused. if you're not ready to commit why chase me in the first place?
reading back on all the sses and sweet things that he's said to me, they just look so empty and fake now.
"no matter what, i will always love you" -> lies
"love of a lifetime" -> bull shit
"i would do anything for you" -> more crap
lol. he never meant any of it except to chase me.
i dunno.
but i do love you alot chris :/
bubble-song at 9:11 p.m.